Archive | July, 2016

Bye Ramadhan 2016

9 Jul

I should just wrote this one since last year. But it failed due so many things and I hope the same thing won’t happen this year. It’s also already outdated, since Ramadhan already ended couple days ago. But I had to experience the whole month first, so I can express what I was going through.

For moslems, Ramadhan is a big festival of worships and prays. It’s unique, because it’s not just a conventional worship and pray, but we also have to do fasting from sunrise until sunset. In this term, fasting isn’t just about eat and drink. It’s also about anger management, to hold your attitude, to hold your thoughts and also sexual drive. This should be done for the whole month.

Why we moslems should do this? As always, it’s a God command that need and have to be done (now I’m sound stupid right?). Its religion and sometime it’s not fit in your logical sense. But for most reason, there are some opinion why we do the Ramadhan. As human, we need to experience the empathy of being poor peoples who can’t afford food easily, which is being in hunger and thirst. Ramadhan is just like a month of detoxification and purification, since we were told to fasting, to do good things, etc. Lately there was a research about brain activity related to fasting activity and the result is positively interesting. As additional, from my personal opinion. Ramadhan humanize and personalize you as a human, the most perfect God’s creature. What’s the different between human to animal, plant and other living thing? That we had common and logical senses beside the natural instinct to fulfill our basic needs. When it’s just about eat, drink, sex and shitting around, we have no different than animals. I thought that Ramadhan can teach us to be more humane by holding our basic need, but if we could just follow it with good response also, of course. Well it’s sloppily arguable, I’m a bit careless for that.

Practically, it’s not easy though. This activity can lead into dehydration (especially when you live in the tropical country), severe gastritis, sleepy, less focus and stupid (less oxygen flow to your brain, hungry), make you weaker (no energy acquired from normal food intake), bodyweight loss (aha!), and many other things that some of us can think whether it’s positive or negative. But it’s not gonna harmed you, when you doing it right (and when you are strong enough). Before fasting, we would had a very early breakfast to stock our energy and fluid. Then when the sun already set, we can just recover the loss proportionally. Things are not that scary and worry though when you do it right anyway. If you’re not strong enough and consider it could harmed you, you can just stop the fasting. But in my experience, our body is so flexible and strongly to adapt in many extreme condition. As long as we learn and practice the fasting gradually, it’s safe and healthy though.

Another problem in Ramadhan is, since we all in hunger and thirst, sometime we are sleepy, our adrenaline and cortisol are easily elevated too. That’s why we can be easily misunderstood and get angry easily too, but that’s the test and challenge manage your anger and sometime the pervert boner too (haha). It tell us to be more patient, to think straight forward and cool to solve problem and conflict. This is the harder part, and I really suggest the weakling to step aside for this. The last thing is, we are not allow to gossiping around. Well actually, all of those bad things shouldn’t exist every day, not just in Ramadhan. But hey, this is a test, a battle, a war of our desires. Means, when after Ramadhan you still do it. You have to learn to control it again as a reflection.

This year’s Ramadhan, compare to last year, and were bit far. Last year was my hardest Ramadhan ever in my life. Especially for physical thread, I got sick many days and did experienced severe dehydration (had diarrhea many days while working in hot place in West Kalimantan, lost more than 5kgs). When you struggle for the physical stability, don’t ask how my psychological state at that time. The uncertain work lead to stress, the wedding preparation, far from family and my girlfriend, it’s really torturing.

How about this year? Well it’s a bit chiller, since it’s my first Ramadhan with my own small family. Though my wife wasn’t able to do the fasting, it felt different. Things are so much fun, stressors was just easy to wipe. One big problem to appear is indifferent. Many people who indifferent lead to be more intolerant and it does squeeze their brain, so they became assholes. Again, talking about R-rated (religion), people are just so sensitively stupid, no matter how high their education. I do posted earlier about that. In Ramadhan, with all the high adrenaline and cortisol level, plus the social media bad behavior, it’s highly morbidity and give highly mortality for their intelligent. They turn into a stupid fascist, generate money for assholes who undercover in religion. Well I’m not claiming that I always right every time. I tried to be clear minded but the truth are so painful for those who addicted by religion based dope. So that’s what happened in this Ramadhan, had more debate for stupid things like how some people need to get respect during Ramadhan by forbid food seller activity before ifthar, some people got insulted because the forbidden takbir convoy on the street…and in the end, it lead to shallow judgment that I’m wrong, I don’t have any right to talk about this since I’m not a good moslem. Some of them start to preach and condemn that I’m kafir, munafiq, fake moslem, communist, atheist, liberalist, capitalist, gastritits, syphilis, whatever it is…praise the lords! It’s not easy though to face different challenges like this in Ramadhan hahahhaa…

Then almost at the end of Ramadhan, we saw tragic massacre and terror in the name of Islam (I don’t know which part of Islam is that). The Turkey bombing, Iraq bombing, Saudi Arabian bombing, Bangladesh massacre, Solo bombing. It’s heartbreaking to see people lost their mind, in the name of whatever it’s, to throw dirt and spoil blood in Ramadhan, the holy month. Then there goes the sentiment and stereotype revealed again, there goes the conspiracy theory again.


The most pity thing, some intellectual persons easily recited this act as religion issue since the terrorist use religion name. You’re just the same like those bahluls, acquired high education but stupid enough to yell without even experience about it.

And that just how the Ramadhan ended. I did feel weird to experience it. As a reflection, I knew that my worships are far from perfect, Ramadhan still become a fasting parade for me as an adult. I still can’t hold my angers, my words and thoughts are awfully bad, provocative and hurt people, I did empathies the poor by experiencing the hunger but I consump a lot on ifthar so I didn’t loss body weight, I still felt like an animal who can speak, I felt cocky because I could do the Ramadhan without getting people’s respect by not eating in front of me (I had this since 5 years ago while I did Ramadhan in Kalimantan, alone)..This means I need more Ramadhan to come, to learn, to practice as like other people.

People will miss Ramadhan, we’ll never know if we can meet up Ramadhan again. Some people really pray so they can meet Ramadhan again. There’s a joke about why some bad people with huge sins can long live, it’s because God give’em chances so they can regret, remorse and repentance. Maybe same thing would happen when we want to meet Ramadhan again, by constantly making sins.. Just kidding :p

In the end, we all just human, the naïve one

Eid Mubarak 2016

9 Jul


By the holy month, Ramadhan, ends, It comes the first day of Syawal month, the Eid Mubarak, which is the celebration day of our one month worship in Ramadhan. It said that it is the day when we celebrate our victory after battling our self in Ramadhan. The day when God purify us, back to zero, just like we were born again as baby without any single fault and sins. The celebration is started with a prayer then continued by gather around with families and friends, shaking hands, apologizing each other mistakes.

Yet the celebration develop according to each regions tradition, which made this event become very fun, like the food as example.
Another authentic tradition called “mudik”, means going home to meet and gather with your parents and siblings, especially for those who already live separated faraway from their main family.

The last time I did it, was in 2010, when I was working in Kalimantan. Then my parents told me not to push myself to “mudik” since it took time, effort and huge money, so I never “mudik” after that. I prefer to work, to divert my sadness missing warm lovely moment with my families. Until this year, I decided to take a holiday for “mudik” and celebrate the Eid. I didn’t go to Surabaya though. But I prefer to go to Depok, celebrate it with my wife and her family, which is my new family now. This is my first time Eid moment with my wife. This is my very first time “mudik” moment, driving by myself. Before I was busy sending greets to my family and colleague. Now I was busy helping my parents in law to prepare the Eid and also to meet my wife’s big family and I almost didn’t send any greet to my relative :p

For me, Eid Mubarak is family time. When I couldn’t meet up my family, it’s a heartbreaking though. And it was happened for the last 5 years. During that time, when I sent greets and regards to my relative and colleague, I also send warm regards to their family.


Happy Idul Fitri, Eid Mubarak, I’m sorry for all the mistake that I’ve done, please send my warm regards to your family